Getting Back on Track

A few months ago while I was watching television, I turned the channel to Larry King Live. The guest that evening was Bill Maher, and he was giving his thoughts on various topics. When the topic of religion came up, he referred to it as "magic." I couldn't believe it, so to get that response out of my head I watched, The Passion of the Christ.

I love the film and the message it presents to all of us, and that message is that Jesus Christ died for our sins. He went through so much pain and humiliation because he loved all of us so much. How incredible is that?

The next day I told my sister, Leslee that I had watched it, and it made me realize that I needed to be in church again. She had also wanted to start going again, so we planned to go that Sunday. Leslee and her kids did go to church that Sunday, I unfortunately overslept. However, I did make it the following week, and have been enjoying it ever since.

I immediately felt welcomed, everyone kept telling me they were glad to have me there, and hoped I'd come back again.

After my second or third week, I knew that I wanted to be baptized. I had been to a few baptismal services, and I got chills as each person accepted Christ in their lives. So I sent my pastor a message asking when the church would be doing baptisms, and he said they would schedule it.

In the meantime, one of Leslee's prayers was answered when her husband, Chad started attending church with us. It has truly made a difference for all of us.

Leslee and I are members of the church choir, which is wonderful. We've also been practicing for the Christmas cantata. I'm not usually comfortable with doing things in front of an audience, but when you're singing for God, you have to put the nervousness aside.

As I was heading down the hall for our first choir practice, my pastor asked if he could talk with me for a minute. We sat down, and he asked, "Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your personal savior?" I said, "Yes, I have."

He said, "That's great! When would you like to be baptized?" I asked if we could do it the following Sunday, and he said that would be fine.

So, on my mother's birthday, September 19th, I went to church and everyone was asking if I was ready, and I said that I was. I couldn't wait. Just before I went back to be baptized, a man in the choir sang, It Is Well with My Soul.

He finished the song and then spoke of how he was encouraged by my decision to be baptized. I was thrilled that my decision had meant something to so many people.

I will never forget walking down the steps into that tub, turning around and looking in my pastor's face as he asked, "Ryan, have you accepted Jesus Christ as your personal savior?" I said, "Yes, I have!" Then he said, "I baptize you in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit."

Then, I went under. As I came back up, I said, "Oh, wow!" I heard a man in the congregation say, "Amen." The power of that moment will never leave me. That day was truly the greatest day of my life.

I've heard people say that you don't need to go to church to believe in God. I believe that, but I also believe that if you do go to church, it makes you feel His presence so much more. I've realized I'm able to focus on things that are really important, instead of things that aren't so important.

I pray every night for those who are lost, and don't believe God exists. I try to understand how someone could feel that way and I can't.

I will continue to pray for them, and hopefully one day they'll realize how great there lives will be when they let Him in.

What Country Music Should Be (Part Two)

I wrote a blog last week about what I think country music should be. The entry talked about Patty Loveless, a singer I consider to be one of the TRUE voices in country music.

This second part will deal with another.

Her name is Kathy Mattea. I have been a fan of hers for many years, even before I found out she was from my home state of West Virginia.

The first song I heard from her was, Eighteen Wheels and a Dozen Roses. I was around the age of nine at the time, and from then on, I was hooked.

During that time in her career, she was all over the radio. She also had the respect of the industry winning many industry awards, including CMA Female Vocalist of the Year in 1989 and 1990. She is also the recipient of two Grammy Awards.

Unfortunately, by the end of the decade, her hits seemed to dry up. In 2000, after the release of her album, The Innocent Years, she parted ways with her record company.

She then decided it was time for her to do the music she wanted to do, with or without help from radio, and major record labels.

Since taking charge of her music, Mattea has released four albums, Roses, Joy For Christmas Day, and Right Out of Nowhere.

Her fourth album was released in April, and is titled, Coal.

She planned the album after the Sago Mine disaster in January of 2006.

The album is a tribute to her grandfathers, who both worked in the mines. Songs on the album include, Blue Diamond Mines, Coal Tattoo, and You'll Never Leave Harlan Alive.

Critics have hailed Coal as the best album of her career. I totally agree, this album is perfect in every way.

I have wondered during the writing of these two entries why these two talented performers are no longer receiving radio airplay.

Is it because they aren't twenty-something? Is it because they're "too country" for country music?

I think the actual answer is that they refused to change their music styles to become what the "suits" would accept.

What do you think?

What Country Music Should Be (Part One)

An old blog from 2008.

I went to a concert last weekend, and it was amazing.

It's what country music should be, instead of the pop-tinged junk they play day after day on the radio, and on television.

I've been a fan of country music for a long time, or at least certain artists. These artists aren't having their music played on the radio as much as I would like.

It seems that if you aren't twenty-something in the industry, you don't count.

To me, this is a load of crap.

The person I went to see the other night was Patty Loveless, who, to me has one of the best voices ever.

She was in town promoting her new album, Sleepless Nights. It's an album that features some of the best country songs ever written.

She started her set with the George Jones classic, Why Baby Why. The song is also the opening track on the album. She performed six songs during the show, and she didn't disappoint me one bit.

She closed the show, and her album with the Hank Williams song, Cold, Cold Heart.

Patty had a string of hits in the early to mid-1990's, and then all at once radio seemed to drop her. Her albums have always been critically praised, even if they didn't sell well.

After radio finished with her, she decided to follow her own path. In 2001, she released a bluegrass album titled, Mountain Soul. Many critics have said it was the best album of her career.

She has released four albums since then, and after the disappointing sales of her last album, Dreaming My Dreams, she parted ways with her record company and decided to take some time off. She wasn't sure she would ever record music again.

During her three year hiatus, she dealt with the deaths of two family members, and the illness of another. It was because of these events that she decided it was time to get back to making music. For me, her new album was worth the wait..

Quiet Time

It's late at night, and I'm not quite ready for bed. I am listening to silence.

There is nothing on tv. I have it turned on, but I pushed the mute button awhile ago.

I think it's good to sometimes sit in a quiet space with nothing going on. When it's quiet, it's kind of soothing, and alot better than channel surfing.

I keep wanting to write something, anything that I think people will read. My thoughts get jumbled, and I can't seem to work through them.

But, right now, there are no distractions, no desire to see what's on the tv. Let's face it, it's 1:30 AM, chances are pretty good that there's nothing on.

Besides, people have told me for years that I watch too much tv. I guess maybe they're right, but thankfully over the past couple of years I have discovered a love for reading and writing.

The love of reading isn't such a huge deal, because I read a little in school and stuff, but I didn't REALLY enjoy it, till now.

My love of writing is really huge for me, because until two years ago, I never thought I would write anything. But a friend of mine had an online blog, and I read some of her entries, and through that I thought I could do it too.

I enjoy doing my blog. I love that people like reading what I have to say, even if it deals with things they could care less about.

Writing has also helped me express emotions that I don't usually express, like anger and feeling depressed. Thankfully, these emotions don't show themselves very often, but when they do, I work through them by writing.

Several people have told me that I should write a book. I like hearing that, because it means they enjoy what they've read, but I'm not creative enough to write a book. I barely have enough brain power to write my blogs. Maybe if I write enough of them, I can get them published someday.

Wouldn't that be something?

Happy Birthday, Papaw

This is re-post of a blog I wrote a year ago today..



Happy Birthday

Today would have been my grandfather's 92nd birthday. I think of him everyday, and yesterday I mentioned to my sister that we should do something to celebrate his birthday.

I thought of getting Oreo blizzards from Dairy Queen, then I thought of getting some Cookies and Cream ice cream, which he always had in his freezer.

My sister also suggested that we get some root beer, which was also something he had plenty of when we were growing up.

So, this afternoon, my sister went shopping for these things, and she also bought a cake. She also called our parents and invited them to celebrate with us.

This evening, me, Leslee, her husband and kids, and our parents gathered around the table holding hands and sang Happy Birthday to Papaw while looking toward Heaven.

It was a wonderful day to celebrate the life of such a great man. Thinking of all his stories and jokes, how much he loved to garden and help people.

The only thing that makes me sad, is thinking of his illness. I remember taking care of him, making his breakfast, giving him his pills and all that stuff.

I miss being able to see him everyday. I miss hearing his laugh, his jokes, watching him work word searches and reading Consumer Reports.

I'm very thankful for all the memories I have of him. The root beer and popcorn we'd have on nights we'd stay at his house, swinging with him in the porch swing. He loved it when we'd swing really fast. I think of him everytime I eat at Bob Evans, and can still hear him laughing, because he knows I always order their french toast.

Although he wasn't with us today physically, I know he was watching us from Heaven with a big smile on his face.

Happy Birthday Papaw......I LOVE YOU!!

Big Changes

When I turned 30 in May of last year, I had no idea at the time how much my life would change within those 12 months.

That day, May 10, 2009 was spent at my uncle’s house celebrating Mother’s Day. For me, the visit ended with a bang, or rather, a fall. You see, as I was heading to my parents’ van, my walker hit something on my uncle’s driveway which caused my walker to tip completely over. As I fell with the walker, I was sure I would bust my face, but thankfully, I just scraped my fingers.

I have always been terrified of falling, so for it to actually happen, I was sure I would never be comfortable on my walker again. I told my mother how scared I was to use the walker again, and she told me that I couldn’t let the fact that I fell stop me from using the walker. The following day I did get back on the walker to attend a program that my oldest nephew was in. I was so happy that I wasn’t nervous using it, because I was so sure I would be.

The following month, I was going to spend the weekend with my sister and her family. We went to a local swimming pool and I was talking with my sister, and I told her I was thinking of spending the summer with her. She loved having me over, so I knew she’d love the idea, especially since her husband was working out of town at the time.

So, I went to my house and got some things I would need during my stay. One night, I was sitting at the dining room table listening to music and working crosswords, and within a few minutes, I was clinging to the table. I was terrified that I was going to fall out of the chair. I had been having this feeling off and on for about a year and a half, but lately it had gotten worse. In order for me to be slightly comfortable, I had to put a chair on both sides of me.

I knew something had to be done.

I finally did something about the situation in November, when I went to my family doctor.

He asked me how I felt when the feeling of falling kicked in. I told him that it felt like the chair I was in was high in the air, and being afraid of heights, the feeling freaked me out. He prescribed Paxil to calm my anxiety, and it has helped me tremendously. I can now sit in any chair without feeling like I’m going to fall out of it.

During the same visit, we also talked about scheduling me for some physical therapy, because at the time I only used the walker when I absolutely had to. I know, it wasn’t very smart.

I went to therapy from November to March and out of all the times I’d done physical therapy, this was the best experience ever. I miss going to therapy, but I am thankful to know that because of it, I am more comfortable walking than I’ve ever been.

In March, while searching groups on Facebook, I learned that it was National Cerebral Palsy Awareness Month. I was so thrilled to see that the condition I’ve had since birth, was finally being recognized nationally. I knew I had to find a way to get involved. I sent friend requests to several people, and spoke with a few who have children that have the same type of CP that I have. They appreciated me for sharing my experience with them.

In April, I was searching Facebook again for information on a comedian named, Josh Blue, who also has CP. While I was looking at his page, I saw a picture of a man in a Navy uniform.

I clicked on the picture, and I found out that it was the cover of a book called, “Someone Like Me.” The man who wrote the book also has CP, and he spent 20 years in the Navy, all the while keeping his condition a secret. As soon as I finished reading about his story, I sent him a message, and was shocked when I got a reply a few minutes later. I totally didn’t think he’d respond, because I figured he was too busy with book signings and interviews.

For the past few weeks, I have spent a lot of time spreading word of this man’s story, telling people to buy his book and join his Facebook pages.

I am so inspired by his story, that I would like to try to put my own journey with CP down on paper. I am also wanting to get involved, in some way, to spread the word of Cerebral Palsy Awareness Month. I want to see if I can get something done locally to celebrate this cause, and the people who deal with it from day to day.

Queen For a Day

We've all had embarrassing moments in our lives that we hope will never be brought up again. The following is one such story that took place when I was about seven years old.
At the time, I rode the bus to and from school. One afternoon, my mother helped me off the bus. And as she was walking up the stairs to our house, she said that she had received a letter about a program called, King/Queen For a Day.
The program was for disabled children and their mothers. The program was a chance for the kids to feel good about themselves. To celebrate what and who we were, at least that's how I saw it.
A couple days after mom told me about the program, my father took me to the Ramada Inn to register, because mom didn't get off work in time to take me. So we go inside, and we walk upto the desk and register. The woman tells us that every boy and girl has to wear a crown and sash to every event.
There's only one problem with this. The lady informs us that they have run out of all the "King For a Day" sashes. This means that for the entire time I'm there, I will have to wear the "Queen For a Day" sash.
My father asks her if it's absolutely necessary for me to wear the sash. The woman says, "Yes, every child must wear a crown and sash during the program." Dad apologizes to me, as if it's his fault.
The rest of the program made up for the fact that I was wearing the humiliating sash. The only bright spot was that the sash was yellow. We went to the Police Academy, and the officials spoke to us about the importance of being a police officer.
After the speeches were over, they gave us all the chance to ride in a police car. I loved it, because they let us work the siren. The officer I was riding with told us he hoped he never had to arrest any of us in the future. I kept thinking knock off the jokes, cause they aren't funny....lol.
After the ride in the police car, we headed back to the hotel for one last event. The people in charge handed out trophies to all the kids, and told us they hoped we enjoyed ourselves.
And with that, my day as a "Queen", was over. But when I got home, the teasing from my brother Eric began.
I hope that this story makes you laugh, because it is one of the funniest events of my life!!