Remembrance

Still from MySpace

Aug 23, 2009

Today marks the tenth anniversary of my grandmother's passing. I have thought about her everyday for the last ten years. I can still see her smiling face, and hear her tell me that she loved me.

She was sick off and on for 15 years. When people told my grandfather that he should put her in a nursing home, he said no, and took very good care of her.

There were several times over those 15 years where it looked like she wouldn't be with us any longer, but she always fought hard and survived.

In July of 1999, my parents had a Fourth of July party at their house and Mommac and Papaw came. I remember hugging her and telling her I loved her. I asked her how she was feeling, and she said she was feeling good. She had a big smile on her face.

It was the last time I saw her.

A week later, I went to South Carolina to visit my sister and her husband. One day during my stay, Leslee told me that Mommac was in the hospital. I asked if she was ok, and she said, "Yeah, but she's dehydrated."

Things took a turn for the worse, and she spent several weeks in the hospital. One night, my father asked me if I wanted to visit her, I said, "No, I can't see her like that. I want to remember her the way she was on the Fourth of July." He said if I changed my mind to let him know.

A week before she died, my sister Emily took me shopping for clothes so I would be prepared just in case Mommac passed away.

This brings us to Monday, August 23rd 1999.

Emily and her then boyfriend were going to go to the mall, and she invited me to go with them. Before we left, my mother asked Emily if she had her pager. Em said she had it, and we headed out.

We were at the mall for awhile, when Em's pager went off. She was scared, because she was sure it was Mom or Dad trying to contact her about Mommac. She called them, but they weren't calling about Mommac.

On our way home, the pager went off again. Em pulled over at a pay phone and talked with my father. She asked what was wrong, and all he said was, "Get home quick."

She pulled into the driveway, and bolted out of the car and into the house. Her boyfriend helped me out of the car and into my wheelchair. As I turned to sit down, Em came running out of the house crying hysterically. Her boyfriend said, "Did she?" And Em cried, and said, "Yes!"

When we went inside the house, my father came over to me. He hugged me and said, "Mom died Buddy."

I couldn't say anything. I thought if I opened my mouth I would start crying and never be able to stop.

I began to busy myself. I headed for my bedroom to put away the stuff I bought. Before I went into my room, my mother got down on the ground, looked at me and asked if I was alright. I said, "Yeah" in a quiet voice. Then she said, "Are you sure?" I said, "No", and I lost it. My mother hugged me tight and I buried my head in her shoulder.

After that, my parents told us the events leading up to her passing. My father was holding her when she took her last breath, and they said when she was gone, she had a smile on her face.

I feel so lucky to have known her, and to spend all those years with her and my grandfather.

This year they are together in Heaven. I know that since my grandfather joined her, she's had a smile on her face.